Surrobabe is ONE!
It’s been ONE YEAR since I gave birth as a surrogate for two wonderful DC dads. While the surrogacy journey was a wonderful and smooth journey, the birth process was anything but.
It was March 10th and I was 34 weeks pregnant. I went into my OB for a regular scheduled prenatal appointment. I had already been struggling with high blood pressure but when I went for my appointment my BP was 155/104! My OB informed me that I needed to go to labor and delivery for evaluation. I went home and got my husband and hospital bag, called my sibling doula, and updated my IP’s (Intended parents). Once we got to the hospital, they had to give blood pressure medication via my IV twice in order to get it down and they informed me that they highly recommended inducing me asap.
Inducing labor at 34 weeks meant that they would have to stay in the hospital for two days before the induction to allow time for steroid shots to help develop the babies lungs quicker. They also started me on magnesium. In the meantime, due to COVID restrictions, my husband was not allowed to come and go so he went home until it was time for labor to begin. Being in the antepartum unit in the hospital was peaceful and a welcomed break with room service and TV! I felt great and I was still in good spirits.
On March 12th, they started the induction with the use of the foley catheter. The first time they inserted the foley and removed it, it was extremely painful to get out. I opted for Nubain (a narcotic given by IV that lasts for about 4-6 hours before wearing off) for relief from the foley and cervical checks. They stated that I was dilated to 4cm, which we later found out not to be true when a new OB team came on.
This team was 4 women and they were all very wonderful. They inserted the Foley again and then when it was time to remove it, I was actually 4cm dilated. They then started Pitocin, which caused me some worry. I knew that being on a high level of Pitocin for a extended time can increase your risk of hemorrhaging and chances were, if I was on Pitocin for a long time with contractions that weren’t causing any change, I would be at a even higher risk for a cesarean.
In the meantime, my IPs, Doula (Emily) and Husband had joined me. We settled in for what we thought would be a smooth labor and delivery as I was planning for another vaginal birth after my VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). There was a point that while strongly advocating for myself and voicing my concerns around extended Pitocin, chances of hemorrhaging and other interventions, that one of the white female doctors came to my side and stated:
“I see how fiercely you are advocating for yourself and I know that it must be exhausting”.
As a black woman and doula, I was overwhelmed with emotions around that statement.
At around 10pm on the 12th, I decided to send my doula home and have her come back the next day, however, after asking permission we were denied. I told my doula “I know that me sending you home means you can't come back and I'm ok with that”. On the morning of March 13th, my nurse came in the room to check me and after feeling on my stomach for the baby’s position, she brought the OB team in with a sonogram machine. My heart immediately sank because I knew what that probably meant. As soon as they put the sonogram machine on my stomach, it was confirmed that the baby had indeed flipped and was now breech .
Due to me being about 5cm dilated and present health concerns, I was rushed back for an emergency cesarean section (the exact details as to why this was classified as an emergency c-section is still a mystery to me and my OB. The attending OBs didn’t document well). During the c-section, I hemorrhaged out and lost more blood than anticipated which resulted in an extended stay in the hospital. However, the most beautiful thing to come out of the experience was a beautiful baby girl who was born on March 13th. Both dads were overjoyed to welcome her.
Unfortunately, this birth experience has ended my surrogacy journey and has disqualified me from pursuing another journey. However, I cherish the experience and encourage anyone who wants to explore surrogacy to do so!
